busy doing nothing

when you're laid off from a job, everything around you feels different, your confidence drops a few notches. from feelings of vulnerability when you walk around your new neighbourhood, to not being able to buy just any item of beautiful clothing at regular price... it's just not possible anymore. it might be time to stock up on no name macaroni and cheese, and discount tuna - in case your return to the job market takes longer than you hope.

this was how it felt being laid off the first time. somehow i survived, and i knew things would be ok this time around too, but i can't shake those ideas that once i do start working again, that i will do a better job at being thrifty, to prepare myself in case. (knock on wood, i hope this doesn't happen a third time!)

other than worrying about money, being laid off and having a severance is a small treat. there's the staying up to watch movies and sleeping in without setting an alarm. unfortunately, the longer i'm laid off, and the longer i keep my pyjamas on each day, i do start to realize that "man, i haven't talked to anyone in HOURS." do the take home chef and barefoot contessa count?

yesterday, i went to jane's office to use her fax machine and had the chance to go to an after work social. it was a lovely catered affair with wine and tasty hors d'oeurves. i listened to some speeches, and watched them pass out awards, heard one of the new executives mess up the name of one of the long time faculty members. afterwards, jane and scott were on their way to their friend's birthday party and gave me a lift over towards harbord and crawford, where i walked back south to my place. it was a really nice walk, where i ended up staring into the beautifully decorated old homes.

at the corner near my place, i was searching for my keys in my bag, and a homeless woman approached me for spare change. i told her i'd just lost my job. (even though i may be receiving an offer) even though it was the truth, i felt kind of bad. like i was abusing the excuse. then i went into shopper's and bought some wine gums.